Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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