All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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