Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
