Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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