are you so shy because you have an std?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The beer is more important than you right now.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
