I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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