He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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