Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
