Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
