I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
