i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Couch. On fire.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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