I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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