I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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