Jerry, you need to find god
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
