I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
