I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Randomize