i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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