new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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