That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
