what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just high enough for therapy.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize