What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
