there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
