Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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