He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
