i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
