i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
