garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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