Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
