Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"

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(407): View more from Florida

please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...

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(760): View more from California

What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.

(732): View more from New Jersey

Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.

(862): View more from New Jersey

yet...

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza

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(303): View more from Colorado

You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!

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