I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
