i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I've blown a few things in my day
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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