i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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