i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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