He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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