One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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