all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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