I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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