haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
