She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
