ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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