I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
