I'm going to jail i love you
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
