I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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