this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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