I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
