I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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