you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
