I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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