I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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