I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
