omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
