I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
