Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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