dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
