if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I will pee on everything he values.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
