Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have fence marks all over my body
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
