I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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