...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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