Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
