I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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