he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
