can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
