dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize