New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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