just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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