You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he was CRYING into my vagina
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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