Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize