She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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